I have an unhealthy addiction to weight loss. I literally go through life daily thinking about my weight and how I can be smaller. This blog will take you on a journey of my thoughts, my struggles, and ultimately - my successes.
Today was a bad day. I didn't work out and I overdosed on Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Goldfish (x-tra cheddar). In addition to that, I didn't do anything that could even be considered exercising. However, I must admit, the goldfish were pre-meditated. To be quite honest - I have no regrets (but I should)! In the words of Chrisette Michele (prepare to sing), "Blame in om me! Say it's my fault!" - Say that I ate all the goldfish in the bag without a second thought!
Have you ever had one of those day where all you want to do is eat something salty? Today was that day for me. I've been eating a ton of vegetables, fruits, raw almonds, yogurt, and other stuff that only whole foods sells. I really wanted something different. For the most part, today was a good day - I ate nothing out of the realm of health but I just couldn't satisfy my taste buds today. One of my co-workers (an excellent mathematician) had some gold fish pretzels. I know I was supposed to give those up but when I looked at the nutrition facts I realized that the sodium is only 18% and you can eat 3 handfuls (43 goldfish) for only 130 calories and/or 3 Weight Watchers points! So, I did what most people trying to lose weight would do - I ate the pretzels! To add insult to injury when my team met (the ones who were sooo supportive in the beginning) they were eating Keebler Shortbread cookies dipped in milk chocolate! I, however, managed to RESIST temptation by eating baby carrots instead of joining the cookie frenzy (the proof is in the pic above - those snacks are the real thing. I took that pic in the middle of the meeting just to show you). As I drove home I began to think about the consequences of my goldfish pretzels. I decided that there was only one major consequence - THE RETENTION OF WATER!!!!! If my body holds on to the salt, the scale will show that I have lost nothing! That is an achingly painful consequence! You would think that I learned my lesson BUT NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Later on in the evening I still had a craving for salt! I ate a small handful of sunflower seeds (ok - two small handfuls of sunflower seeds)! What in the world!!!!! I must have been mad (excuse my expression - I've spent the last three days with teachers from England)! I immediately went downstairs to sweat it out - I spent an hour working out. I produced so much sweat that I could have quenched the thirst of a small toddler in the Mojave desert! So there you have it. Today was not my best day but still wasn't my worst. I'm just hoping and praying that when Saturday comes I'll have a good report for you all. Please, send me your well wishes. I need them.
P.S. - My team is still great and supportive even though they tried to play me with the cookies!!!
Ok. I'm thinking that I need a visual goal during my weight loss process. When people (who are self-disciplined) really want something they develop a plan of action which will explain and/or show the end result. I know that I still have 22 pounds left ( my goal) but I feel like I need a visual aide to assist me. I need a celebrity fit model! I'm thinking this will be a person (a celebrity) who is around the same height as me with the same body type. For example, Tyra Banks can't be my Celebrity Fit Model (CFM) because she's about ten inches taller than me and lacks my well endowed boobies. I need a celebrity who has t & a (if you know what that is great - if not see me personally for a detailed explanation). You see, I'm packin' and stackin' which means I'm blessed in multiple areas. I have a very curvy shape - especially 22 pounds lighter. Now, I feel like there aren't many celebs with natural curves. The first few people that come to mind are Kim Kardashian, Tocarra, J-Lo, Marlin Munroe, Betty Boop, and Jessica Rabbit. I'm having a little bit of trouble picking my CFM so do you all have any suggestions? Remember: the key words are SHORT and CURVY!! Oh and just in case you were wondering, I worked out today for an hour and I ate healthy meals!!! This is getting easier and easier!
I got on the scale this morning and I lost no weight. However, for some reason, I'm not super sad. I realize that as long as I keep working hard - the weight will come off. I can't give up now - I've been working hard for two whole weeks and I don't have any regrets. I am determined to loose this weight and I will do it. I just have to keep tricking my mind so that the results will show on my body. I will leave you with a quote from my young & wise sister, "Use your WILL POWER to get to your desired size! REMEMBER: your body is capable of doing the work, its your mind that has the dilemma! YEAH BUDDY ROLLIN LIKE A BIG SHOT!" - LOL - Peace!
A picture is worth a thousand words - you just keep on reading! Today was another beautiful day! I applaud myself! I ate well (may have had an issue with the pretzels but that really depends on what your view of serving size is) and all of my meals were balanced. I even snacked on (other than the pretzels) carrots, strawberries, and 1/4 avocado (it's a healthy fat so calm down). I drank two things of water and an XL glass of tea! I love being healthy! I, in no way shape or form miss gummy bears, jelly beans, hot fries, empanadas, pizza, turkey burgers, french fries, buffalo wings, nachos, quesadilla, egg rolls, peanut butter cookies, snack wraps, Cheeze Its, mashed potatoes with gravy, candied yams, chicken fetechini, Rita's Ice, Chipotle, Carolina's Kitchen or any other mouth watering food/snack that taste wonderful, satisfies your tummy, soothes your taste buds but clogs all your arteries. I'm clearly living the good life with my carrots and strawberry snacks (DUH)! Oh! How can I forget. After I perfected my healthy rabbit eating skills my co worker, JD, and I went on what I thought would be a mile jog/run. Before we started running, I told her "Hey. I know you do this often but I haven't been running in two years - go easy on me." She replied "I'm slow - I don't know why people think I run quickly (smile)." I should have known then that something wasn't on the up and up! We began "speed walking" which she called a "warm- up." I casually tried to get her to slow down by explaining that my legs are a lot shorter than hers - it was a no go. We speed walked for about three minutes before she (unannounced I might add) began "jogging" (even though I felt like I was sprinting). After about three minutes of what she called "light jogging" every muscle in my body was either vibrating and/or numb. After a few heavy pants and me asking "Hey! When are we gonna stop running" like cheetahs we came to an abrupt halt. I believe it was at that exact moment that I realized that running actually felt better than stopping! My muscles seemed to be confused about what was going on. It was as though I made them work overtime and failed to pay them - they were upset! Shortly after that JD introduced me to the walk/run method (you jog for a minute or two and then walk for a minute or two) which worked much, much better for me. Now, I must say that the walk run was quite effective and I probably could've pushed myself harder but thank GOD I didn't - let me tell you why. After the whole "jogging" thing we stopped at what looked to me like an outdoor gym. We did a few lunges, leg swings, and sit ups! Who still does sit ups? Now the "light jog/run/walk" has turned into a total body fitness class! I didn't think I was going to make it until I heard those lovely words - "Alright, we're heading back." I'm thinking great! BUT that was before I knew we had to walk up heart attack hill and an additional mile and a half to get back to my car! She got me! The whole trail/course or whatever was almost FOUR miles!!!!!!! I'd been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray! I didn't even tell you about how she was "keeping time" while we were running! Those were the longest minutes (umhmmmmm JD - I know what you did!) of my life! I'm sitting here typing and even though I'm totally still my whole body is throbbing - is that even possible? In spite of the pain and aches I must say that I did have a great time (even though I was complaining) and I feel as though I burned off all those pretzels I ate (thanks JD). I'm going to go soak my muscles - Night!
Ok. I'm exhausted and I really wanted to skip working out again tonight sooooo when I got home tonight at 7pm all I wanted to do was go to bed. I tried to lay in my comfy bed (featured above - not really my bed but wish it was) and go to dream land but I couldn't. Are you wondering why - great - glad you asked. I couldn't sleep because I had a NIGHTMARE about what would happen if I didn't work out. In my NIGHTMARE I saw myself tripling in size due to lack of exercise! Who knew that NOT working out could haunt you! I did everything correctly today. A real nutritionist would've been elated with the small meals that I designed for myself - nutritious and delicious! You would think that based on that healthy act alone I would be able to sleep like a newborn baby fresh out of the womb but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! All I can hear during my pseudo sleep is "Get up and go work out! C'mon girl you can do it! Si SE PUEDA!" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! As you can see it's 9:30pm and I'm extremely irritated and I'm up. I am headed downstairs for fifty minutes of Hip Hop Abs. If you're reading this I'll be downstairs tilting, tucking, and tightening my abs all while trying to get rid of my attitude. Toodles and fruit loops.
There's a pic of Agape sleeping. I'm about to do the same. Here is a summation of the day: I did really good with the eating but I'm not working out tonight because I just got home - I'm going to bed! Have sweet sleep everyone!
I look crazy! What am I thinking? I'm in my basement doing squats with four pound weights in each hand. My legs are shaking, my forehead is glistening, my arms are burning, and my knees are hurting. Whoever said that working out is fun is a liar and the truth ain't (excuse my colloquialism) in them! The end result of working out may be beauty but the process is ugly and PAINFUL! Just in case you don't understand what I'm trying to say here it is plain and simple - working out sucks! Now, I'm moving on. I must be honest, today was still a pretty good day for me but I made one or two or three poor choices. The first is I failed to go to the grocery store this past weekend which resulted in me packing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch when all I ate for breakfast was applesauce. Of course after my applesauce at 7am I was starving by 9am and ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwich at 9:30am. At 11:15am I realized I had no lunch and now must go out into the world of fatty, fried, sodium filled, and hormone infested foods on my 30 minute lunch break to make a healthy lunch decision. THE PRESSURE WAS ON! After deciding against Potbelly's, Five Guys, Juilia's Empanadas, Starbucks, a Pizza Place, and CVS I decided to go with Panda Express. I figured I could request about a cup of steamed rice with veggies and the shrimp stuff that cost an extra dollar. I ate that and felt satisfied. If it helps anyone feel a little better - it took me about 12-14 minutes (total) to walk there and back. Anyway once back at work I violated my snack rights and had about two hand-fulls of my co-workers snack mix while she was teaching academic support (my apologies CFB - you know I love you!). After that (the end of my work day) I walked about 5 minutes to help another co-worker out after school for about two hours. When I got home (close to 7pm) I realized that I still hadn't gone grocery shopping and had nothing to eat. I quickly spent 15 minutes playing with Agape (my ADHD puppy) and hopped back in the car to go to the grocery store. I went to Giant - got groceries - got home and realized that I was no longer hungry. I then went downstairs only to discover that working out sucks and if I would've gone to the grocery store at some point during the weekend I probably wouldn't have had a series of cataclysmic food events taking place all in one day. Good Night.
That picture is my VICTORY picture (excuse the hair) and that's me doing my victory dance! Look at me smiling all because I lost THREE pounds this week! I mean the pounds are dropping off like crazy! In this game of weight loss, I am winning! I'm the prize fighter and the pounds are about to be TKOed (totally knocked out!). I know that was corny but I needed a moment. Everyone is asking me "How'd you do it - and in the first week?" Well, I've worked out everyday this week except for Friday. I have not allowed a morsel of anything oily, fried, fatty, or sugar-y to touch my lips. I have tried my darnedest to eat small balanced meals every three hours and walk a little bit more everyday. I am quite pleased with myself. I only have 22 pounds left! I am on my way to becoming healthier and cuter as you read! I am also becoming more self-disciplined as I take control over my health, my size, and my life! Yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy me!
Random Thoughts:Today I learned that everyone has a scary experience when they first get tested for HIV/AIDS. I also learned that all of my co-workers are STD FREE! Anyway, the picture to the left is what I ate tonight at my "Team Building" meeting. "Team Building"actually means "Happy Hour" but not really :-)! It's a time when you hang out with the people you like from work and swap personal stories because you know they'll never tell . . lol! This brings me to my point for the day; when other people know that you're trying to lose weight they make provisions for you! My team is great! The only food provided tonight was healthy food! Thanks gals n guys! Now, back to weight. I DID NOT EXERCISE TODAY because I was busy. Plus I walked to Starbucks (not to get any drinks) and about half a block to my car. I say it's the little things that count. Imagine if you parked a block away from work everyday, took the stairs three times a week, or took the train instead of driving your car. OMG! What would happen if you ate a salad twice a week (with light dressing) instead of your favorite meal from the cafeteria? I mean really, would the world see a smaller, healthier you? At times we make weight loss seem so complicated when it doesn't have to be. This week (so far) has been challenging yet motivating and fun! I'm enjoying all of this! Weight loss should be focusing on the little things while having fun! Sidebar: I'm feeling really happy today about making it this week so all that stuff about weight loss being fun and motivating may be out the window tomorrow.
I don't remember when I took this picture but I know it was less than a year ago. LOOK AT ME!!! Standing on the dock, trying to look sexy by sucking in all the weight that I've gained - sad but smart!. Anyway, today was another successful day. I am happy that I turned down all the candy, pastries, fried, and fat-saturated foods. However, I still think that trying to lose weight sucks! I was HUNGRY ALL DAY!!!! On top of that I had to come home and exercise for an hour (I already felt weak)! My exercise video of choice was "The Firm" and those women are hard core! They're super skinny but really buff and kind of scary looking. I worked out so hard that my buttocks are shaking. I've been telling myself all day "think skinny, eat skinny, be skinny" as a verbal reminder to myself that I will soon be skinny! I guess my closing thoughts are the same as my opening thoughts - "trying to lose weight sucks BUT - when my hard work pays off I'm assuming I'll forget about all those gummy bears and jelly beans I passed up. Till next time . . . ."think skinny, eat skinny, be skinny!"
THIS IS NOT A BORING STORY!!! I've gained almost THIRTY pounds since that picture. It has been almost 5 years! That really sucks but I must accept responsibility for my actions and blame it on myself (which also sucks). I am 28 and SEXY (no really - even with the weight I am really adorable). However, I would like to finally lose the weight I've been complaining to my friends, family, and co-workers about soooooo here it is! I've created a blog to share my weight loss journey with YOU! I plan on uploading videos with every 5 pounds I lose. My goal is to lose 25 pounds and have fun while doing it! I am going to blog as often as possible on all the things associated with weight loss - feelings, exercising, eating, dating, and all the random things I want to add! My official weight loss journey (entitled "No Mas Gorda") started October 12, 2009. I'm brand new to blogging so bare with me!